By the Gods!

Genies

“Genie” is a term derived from the Arabic “Jinni” and while we have a brief article on their Islamic origin here, we’re going to take this time to elaborate a little more.

A jinni is a mischievous or even malevolent spirit that can take the form of any animal or person, and is said to have magic powers. I’m sure that isn’t news to all of you Disney fans out there, but did you know they have their own separate Jinn community?

It’s true! They have their own laws, customs and kings (presumably way more fun than ours, with Robin Williams singing constantly). 

Despite having all that fun stuff going for them, they seem to spend most of their time trying to tempt humans into wicked acts. In the 13th century the Islamic scholar Ibn Taymiyyah deemed the Jinn “ignorant, untruthful oppressive and treacherous.” According to Taymiyyah, much of what a lay person would perceive as “magic” was actually the Jinn hard at work, messing with us. This makes us here at By The Gods! glad that we have Never had a friend like them.

Dominions

And so, after a long delay, we return to the Hierarchy of Angels (the Christian version). Remember, way back in the day, when we discussed the 9 Choirs of Angels, divided into 3 spheres? Well, the first and most powerful/holy sphere of angels contains the Choirs of Seraphim, Cherubim, and Thrones.

The second sphere functions as heavenly government, and begins with the Dominions, ranked 4th among all the choirs. The Dominions (translated from the Greek term kyriotites) act as lords over the lower choirs of angels, regulating their divine duties. Dominions are said to rarely make themselves physically known to humans, but instead send the Angels, Archangels and Principalities (all from the third and lowest sphere) to do their divine work on Earth. The work of the Dominions, of course, would be the work of God; orders come down from the top, as usual.

Dominions are also the angels that preside over specific nations. This suggests that each Dominion would have his own specific territory to concern himself with. I wonder if they go by current political borders, or strictly biblical… I guess the Pope could probably answer that. 

The Dominions, though rarely seen, look like divinely beautiful humans, glowing with light, bearing a pair of majestic, feathered wings. I know, I know, that just sounds like a particularly nice ‘n clean version of any “angel.” To distinguish themselves, they also carry a sceptre with a shining orb of light fastened to the head, or a jewelled sword with an orb of light on the pommel.

Jainism and Tirthankaras

Jainism is an Indian religion and philosophy which offers an austere path to enlightenment. Much of its mythology was inherited from Hinduism, including huge numbers of gods, and ideas on the structure of the universe, but Jains differ from Hindus in that they do not believe in the idea of creation, considering that time is cyclical. Jain ascetics attempt to conduct their lives following five vows: to injure no living thing (because everything has a soul), to speak the truth, to take only what is given, to be chaste, and to achieve detachment from places, people and things. Sounds easy.

Their examples in following this discipline are 24 Tirthankaras, or “spiritual teachers,” who have appeared in the present cycle of  time. A tirtha is a ford or crossing-place, or a sacred place, person or path which enables believers to cross over into liberation from an endless round of rebirth: for Jains, the Tirthankaras were the builders of the ford. Boom. Metaphors.

The swastika is one of the main symbols of Jainism, and is the symbol of the seventh Tirthankara, Suparsva. It existed as this symbol long before those guys adapted it to their cause. An easy analogy for the Tirthankaras is like they’re the Saints of Jainism. That’s an over-simplification, of course, but the comparison is helpful. 

Thetis and Peleus

Thetis was a water nymph and one of the Nereids, those nifty shape-shifting sea thingies. Thetis, like everything else with a vagina, was sought after by ol’ lustful Zeus, but Poseidon also wanted to get in on the action! However, like all Greek women, seemingly, there was a prophecy about her kid being stronger than its father. To avoid a possible usurping, Zeus and Poseidon decided to marry her off to a mortal, Peleus. Peleus was all “cha-ching!”, but Thetis was all “dammit,” though she eventually consented to the wedding.

All the gods were invited to the wedding except Eris. “But why?!” you ask? “What’d she do!?” Calm down and I’ll tell you. She’s the goddess of discord, you see, so to avoid trouble on the big day, the planners thought it best to shun the embodiment of trouble, disunion, and stuff-not-going-to-plan. Did it work? In a word, no. She came anyway (Oh, snap) and as you might’ve guessed, brought discord with her. When she arrived she brought with her a golden apple which said “for the fairest” on it. Athena, Hera and Aphrodite all clamed ownership of the Apple. I think the fairest thing to have done would have been to give it to the bride, but that’s just me. This isn’t about me. Anyway, Zeus, being wise, decided not to choose which goddess got the apple, knowing he’d be hosed no matter what he did, so once again he picked a puny mortal to do the dirty work. Who’d Zeus give the decision-making powers to? Paris! 

The goddesses all tried to win Paris’ favour to grease the wheels of decision-making: Hera offered him rule of all Europe and Asia, Athena offered him skill in battle unsurpassed by any on Earth and eternal wisdom, but Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful woman on Earth, Helen of Sparta (soon to be Helen of Troy). Paris skipped over to Sparta to pick up/sort-of-kidnap Helen and bring her back to Troy, infuriating Menelaus, Helen’s husband, and kicking off the Trojan War. 

Callisto

Stop thinking about the hot chick from Xena. Callisto was a nymph of Artemis in Greek myth.  She was one of Artemis’ favoured hunting companions, and was eventually turned into a bear and placed in the night sky.

As a follower of the virgin Artemis, Callisto vowed to remain celibate like her leader; if that isn’t commitment, what is? Zeus apparently took the nymph’s vow of celibacy as a personal challenge.  In an attempt to bang the nymph and thus put the “nymph” in “nympho,” Zeus took on the appearance of Artemis. He lured Callisto into a hug and raped her. As soon as it was discovered that Callisto was preggers, Artemis, though initially livid, was able to eventually stay her wrath and forgive Callisto, as she couldn’t be held responsible for the King of the Gods’ almost cartoonishly-villainous lust.  Hera, who was always pissed with her husband, convinced Artemis to punish Callisto by turning her into a bear. Many years later Callisto’s son Arcas was hunting and ran across his mother, still in bear form. Just before he killed her, Zeus plucked both mother and son and placed them in the sky. Hooray for… happy… endings?

Pan

Pan is the semi-lovable faun-type-thing from Greek mythology. His parentage is unclear, with Zeus, Hermes, or Dionysus all contenders for fatherhood, but his mother is almost definitely a nymph. Even though he’s often thought of as a lesser deity, he had renowned parentage, and maintained status of an important Greek god. He is usually depicted with goat-like horns, a shaggy face and hair, and the legs and hooves of a goat. 

Pan is known for being playful and energetic, with his preferred musical instrument, the pipes/pan flute, always on hand. Pan could be a frightening god when he wanted to be, blowing on a conch to inflict terror on any who heard the sound it made. He used this fear-inducing conch to help scatter the Titans and aid the Olympians in their war, and is also credited with putting panic in the hearts of the Persian armies in the Battle of Marathon. 

Music was his thing, and he wouldn’t shut up about how talented he was. He even claimed to be better than Apollo, god of the lyre, in this regard, and Apollo wasn’t about to suffer a little half-goat rival. After whooping Pan in a straight-up music contest, the faun demanded a rematch. Apollo set the terms that they would play upside-down, and while his lyre-playing was unaffected, Pan couldn’t operate his pipes in that position, and Apollo took the win.

The Leshy

Leshies–-creatures from slavic mythology—are male tree spirits who watch over forests and woodland creatures. They have a grudge against humans, believing all of them to be cruel and hateful toward the forest, so you may want to watch out for these leafy spirits.

The Leshy have the ability to shape-shift, but their original form is said to be beings with two horns, green hair, blue skin and great big bushy beards. If you run into a talking mushroom, it’s probably a Leshy, seeing as they’re tricksters and probably get bored easily. 

Although the Leshy aren’t said to be evil, they are known for kidnapping young women and making ruffian children lost in the woods. All fun and games to the Leshy folk. They are also known for tickling troublemakers to the point of submission, even death! The horror! 

Some Leshies will protect livestock that wanders into the woods, if the farmers that own the livestock make it worth their while. If you can befriend a Leshy, it might teach you its magic secrets and tickling techniques. However, it’s hard to befriend a Leshy, as they often don’t venture far from the forest and are wary of those who enter it.

Hermaphroditus

Yup, you read his name right. And yes, that is where we get hermaphrodite from, so congrats to those of you who figured it out! Hermaphroditus was the son of Hermes and Aphrodite (shocker!). He was raised on Mt. Ida, and when he grew to the age of 15 he grew tired of his surroundings and ventured out into the world. At some point on his little adventure he became fatigued, and stopped to take a swim in a pool; little did he know that this pool belonged to the nymph Salmacis. Salmacis instantly fell in love with Hermaphroditus, ‘cause as we all know, in Greek myth love is instantaneous.

When Salmacis approached Hermaphroditus, he refused her advances and pushed her away. Once he thought she was gone Hermaphroditus undressed and slipped into the pool for a bath. Why wouldn’t he just go to another pool!? SHE’S A NYMPH, MAN! Salmacis, undeterred by Hermaphroditus’ refusal, bum-rushed him and wrapped herself around him, covering him with kisses and bad touches. While her sexual assault was going on she cried out to the gods in prayer and asked that she never be parted from Hermaphroditus. The Gods being what they are and only taking requests at face value did just that: they bound Salmacis’ body with Hermaphroditus’, turning the pair into one body: a woman with male genitalia, or a man with female genitalia (depending on how you look at it). Point is, they had both sets of tools. Hermaphroditus, rather than begging the gods to free him from Salmacis and this new form, asked the gods to turn anyone who entered the pool into a hermpahrodite, just like him, and his wish was granted. From then on Hermaphroditus was the minor god of bisexuality and effeminacy.

Even though Hermaphroditus was male after his bonding with Salmacis, Hermaphroditus is mainly depicted as a woman with male bits.