By the Gods!

The Salmon of Knowledge - An Irish Legend

A young lad named Fionn (pronounced Fyun) was a promising youth. After his father died, his mother brought him to a poet named Finnegas to learn all he could so that in time, he could join the Fianna. The Fianna was a band of Irish warriors. But in order to join, a man needed to have wisdom and a wide knowledge of poetry, art and history.

Finnegas taught Fionn all he knew and the lad grew to be a fine young man. One thing that Finnegas talked about often was the myth of the salmon of knowledge. The salmon of knowledge was a fish that swam through the rivers of Ireland, the myth went that anyone who ate the salmon would gain all the wisdom of the world. Finnegas often sat by the river outside the hut where he and Fionn lived, fishing in hope to catch the salmon.

One day, Fionn heard Finnegas calling him from outside, running to the river, he saw that Finnegas had caught none other than the salmon of knowledge! Finnegas instructed the boy to cook it for him to eat, but warned him not to taste the fish at all, or he would gain the wisdom. Fionn did as he was told and began cooking the fish over a crude fire. he watched it carefully so as not to burn it. Suddenly, a bubble rose on the fish’s skin. Reaching out, Fionn burst it with his thumb. The bubble popped and burned his finger. Instinctively, Fionn stuck his thumb in his mouth and sucked it to soothe the burn.

When Finnegas saw what the boy had done, he grew very sad that he would never gain all the wisdom of the world, but was cheered at the thoguht that Fionn would be the greatest warrior the Fianna had ever known.

Fionn grew to be the leader of the Fianna. It is said that they sleep in a cave beneath Dublin and will rise when Ireland is in his greatest need. Their coming will be alerted by the sound of his hunting horn.

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Thanks for the submission! We can always use more Celtic mythology on here!

The Nine Worthies

The Nine Worthies are nine figures from history/scripture/mythology who were set up in the Middle Ages as archetypal heroes who personified the ideas of chivalry and virtue. All nine were deemed “Princes,” each being leaders in some form or another. In French, they are Les Neuf Preux, meaning “Nine Valiants,” which gives a more particular idea of the sort of virtue and all-around goodness they were meant to embody. The idea of setting up the Nine Worthies was that the study of each of them would form a good education for aspiring princes regarding their chivalry and radness.

The Worthies were first described in 1312 CE by Jacques de Longuyon in his Voeux du Paon. The idea was that good ol’ fashioned Christian virtue predated the coming of Christ, and was present in Pagan and Jewish societies as well. I bet you’re just dying to know who the Worthies were, huh? I don’t blame you. Let’s get to it. They were divided into a triad of triads, as follows.

Pagans:

Hector, the champion of Troy, who fell honourably to the mighty Achilles.

Alexander the Great, who conquered much of the Mediterranean and Persia, spreading the wisdom of the Greeks, as the medieval scholars saw it.

Julius Caesar, who was the progenitor of Rome’s Empire, that would become the bed of Christendom.

Old Testament Jews:

Joshua, who became the leader of the Israelites after Moses, and led the conquest of the holy land, Canaan.

David, the anointed king and Messiah of the Hebrew people, who slew Goliath and whose line was forever chosen by God (Yahweh) to lead his people.

Judas Maccabeus, who led the revolt against the Seleucid empire, and restored the Jewish faith to the Temple at Jerusalem.

Christians:

King Arthur, who in Christian myth was the idyllic king in pursuit of honour, justice, and the holy grail. 

Charlemagne, the King of the Franks who turned his kingdom into an empire that would encompass most of western Europe and be the protector of Catholic Rome for centuries.

Godfrey of Bouillon, a medieval Frankish knight who was a leader of the First Crusade, and became the first ruler of the (short-lived) Christian Kingdom of Jerusalem.

From D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths / my childhood.

Thanks for the submission! The parentage of Greek deities can be difficult to keep straight. Have a look around our posts on Greek Myth for supplemental info!

Saint Patrick

Here he is, folks: the patron Saint of Ireland, whose big day is March 17, honoured the world over with copious amounts of green alcohol and annoying pinching prayer and appreciation. It’s the end of the holiday now as this article goes up, but who are we kidding— none of you will be in any shape to read this until late tomorrow morning, right?

We have two authentic letters written by the ol’ Saint, and from them we can garner a few pieces of information: Patrick, when he was about 16 years old, was captured from Britain by Irish raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave. He dwelt there, slave-style, for six years before escaping and returning to his family. After entering the Church and becoming a learned fellow and ordained bishop he returned to Ireland and did the whole Saint-thang.

His famous exploits include but are not limited to: 

▪ Banishing all the snakes from Ireland (they attacked him during a fast — big mistake.

▪ Making the Shamrock important — he related the three-leafed clover to the three faces of the trinity. The metaphor stuck.

▪ His magic walking stick growing into a real tree. 

▪ Communicating with ancient Irish ancestors. Being psychic is always a helpful Saintly tool.

To sum up, he was a devout bishop that served in Ireland, and lived through the late-4th to mid-5th centuries CE. He died on the 17th of March, and the day is celebrated as a day of solemnity and holy obligation in Ireland, and a day of general merriment and “kiss-me-I’m-Irish-ness” everywhere else.

Luonnotar

Luonnotar (also known as Ilmatar) was the Finnish creator-goddess, and was alone in the beginning of time. She dwelt in the heavens, though eventually grew restless and slipped into the vast cosmic sea. There, she floated for centuries on this primordial ocean, until one day an eagle landed on her knee and built a nest.

Luonnotar sat and watched the bird eagerly, happy for something to finally be happening after centuries of loneliness and boredom. She became too excited, however, and upset the nest, and the eggs fell and broke. The broken shells of the eggs formed the heavens and the earth. The yolks became the sun, the whites the moon, and scattered fragments of the eggs transformed into the stars. Afterward, Luonnotar fashioned the continents from the eggs that made up the land, and divided the seas. 

Luonnotar was then impregnated by the sea and wind, and eventually (after carrying him in her womb for 30 years) gave birth to the first man, the hero Vainamoinen. His is a story for another day, (but, as a preview, know that he was an awesome wizard with extraordinary powers). 

Isis the goddess of of magic, motherhood, fertility and life.

She was the first daughter of Geb, who was the god of the Earth, and Nut, who was the goddess of the Overarching Sky. She had 3 siblings: Osiris, Set and Nephthys. She eventually married Osiris. As Nephthys and Set married.

Set was very jealous of his brother Osiris and one day, sent guards to get his exact measurements while he was sleeping. Set then made a wooden coffin/chest and held a party where he said whoever could fit inside it perfectly—can keep it. Osiris was encouraged to try, and the lid slammed shut on him and locked. He was then thrown into the Nile River. Isis then went to search for him, she found him in a tree in Byblos and brought it back to Egypt and hid it in a swamp. But Set went hunting that night and found the coffin. Enraged he then chopped Osiris’s body up into 14 pieces and scattered them throughout Egypt thinking Isis would never find them. Isis and Nephthys went looking for the pieces, but only found 13 of his 14 pieces. A fish swallowed the 14th piece which was his phallus.

Isis then used magic in which she tricked the god Amun-Ra into telling her his secret name, which then she had power of the deity…to make a new phallus out of gold and sang a song, to bring Osiris to life in which Isis conceived Horus—the falcon headed god. Osiris then became the god of the underworld.

A note from the Editor: Thank you so much for the awesome submission! And to the rest of you mythfans, feel free to put your own pieces together on gods, goddesses, heroes and legends, and submit them here!

Queen Medb

Also known as Maeve, Medb was the mighty warrior-queen of Connacht (the north-west of Ireland). Magnificent but malevolent, it was said she fought as fiercely as the Morrigan, the goddess of death on the battlefield. According to Irish mythology, no king could reign in Connacht unless he was married to Medb, who was believed to hold the kingdom’s sovereignty in her person. You hear that? She was the kingdom! Medb was the real deal. 

Medb’s most famous action was the invasion of Ulster (the north of Ireland), when her forces captured the great brown bull of Cuailgne and killed the hero of Ulster, the super-powered Cuchulainn. Medb herself was slain by Forbai, the son of King Conchobhar Mac Nessa, while she was bathing in a pool. It’s always a pity when the truly great ones go out Elvis-style.

Forbai had learned that Medb always bathed in the same pool. He carefully measured the exact distance between the spot she bathed and the shore, and returned to Ulster to practise shooting a slingshot the same distance until he was satisfied with his accuracy. Back goes Forbai to the pool, and KOs Medb from a staggering distance with his slingshot, right between the eyes. Thus, Ulster was revenged. Those guys really loved Cuchulainn.