By the Gods!

Atlas

The big man with the mother of all back pain, Atlas is one of the more famed Titans from the world of Greek myth. He was the son of Iapetus and Asia by Hesiod’s account (Hesiod being the author of the famed Theogony, from which a great deal of our info on Greek myth comes), but Hyginus believed him to be the son of Aether and Gaia. Regardless of his parentage, Atlas was a big strong fella who found himself on the losing team after the war between the Olympians and the Titans (the Titanomachy).

Atlas was undoubtedly a serious force for the Titans, but they still couldn’t quite get it done, due in part to Atlas’ brothers Prometheus and Epimetheus betraying their own kind to form an alliance with the Olympians. When Zeus and his cohorts had won out, they banished most of the Titans to Tartarus, the abyssal dungeon beneath even the Underworld. Atlas, however, with a nod to his incredible strength and apropos parentage, was sentenced to the western edge of the world and charged with holding up Uranus (the sky) on his shoulders forever. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a guy.

Though he’s often shown supporting the earth, this is an incorrect portrayal. He was originally depicted shouldering a great celestial orb, speckled with the sun, stars, and other knick-knacks of the firmament.

Atlas, in some stories, was turned to stone, and his tremendous body formed the Atlas mountain range in Northern Africa. In another tale, Heracles has a wacky adventure with the tragically trapped Titan, with hilarious results.

The Eleventh Labour of Heracles

Originally Heracles had only been set ten labours as penance for killing his children, but because King Eurystheus was kind of a dick, he said that by receiving help killing the hydra and having the rivers clean out the Augean stables for him, that Heracles must submit to two additional tasks. Tasks that were so dangerous that King Eurystheus was almost guaranteed to get Heracles killed in the process.

As a wedding gift to Hera, Gaia gave her a tree that bore golden apples that gave eternal life to those who ate them. As far as wedding gifts go, that one kind of outshone the piles of toasters, wine glasses and his-and-hers towels they were sure to have received. Hera had it put in the garden of the Hesperides farther west than the setting sun on the slopes of Mt. Atlas to keep it out of harms way. 

To find the way there Heracles needed knowledge from the old man of the sea, Nereus. Nereus shows up in Greek mythology from time to time as an old man who needs help crossing a stream. When a helpful traveler comes along and offers him a piggy-back ride to the other side, Nereus refuses to let go until the good Samaritan dies from exhaustion and incessant nagging. You can imagine how great his people skills were. In a sweet turnabout, Heracles snuck up on Nereus while he slept, and jumped on his back. Nereus realized how not-funny that was when it happened to him, and tried changing his form rapidly to shake Heracles off, but Heracles’ super strength allowed him to hold on until Nereus finally yelled:

“Ow ow ow! Go west! Like, really far west. Pass the sun, and keep going until you see a giant dude holding up the heavens. You can’t miss it.” 

“Simple enough” Thought Heracles, and down he jumped from the old man’s back and went on his merry way.

Along with the Hesperides (daughters of Atlas) who tended the garden there was also a giant snake that stood guard at the base of the golden apple tree. As fun as fighting that snake and murdering the Hesperides would’ve been, Heracles didn’t go to the garden first, he climbed the mountain to where he could talk to Atlas. Heracles offered to take up Atlas’ burden for a while if he would fetch the apples for him.

“My daughters would give me the apples, but that snake would totally kill me.”

“That thing?” Heracles replied. “No problem. Hydra-arrow!” Heracles shot his bow from the mountaintop, and the arrow sailed down into the garden.

“Wow, that’s a dead-ass snake. Okay, one order of golden apples coming up!”

Heracles shouldered the sky for what probably felt like a really long time before Atlas came back with a spring in his step, and apples in his hands. At this point Atlas was stoked to be able to move again, and he told Heracles that he could just take the apples back to Eurystheus himself. Heracles did not like that idea. He quickly thought up his new plan.

“Hmm… Alright Atlas, you can do that, but before you go, my Invincible-Lion cloak is all twisted under this heavy sky. Can you hold the heavens for a second while I adjust it?” Atlas resumed his old position and took the weight of the world off Heracles’ shoulders.

“You’re gonna take this back now right?”

“Yeah. I think I’m just gonna go.”

“Zeus-damnit.”

Heracles gathered up the apples and headed back to Eurystheus’ kingdom with only one more labour to go.