By the Gods!

Beowulf Vs. the Dragon

Beowulf’s next big fight takes place fifty years after he’s uprooted the Grendel family tree, and our favourite Anglo-Saxon-Written-Swede has returned home and become king of the Geats in his own land. Everything is going great for him until a slave steals a shiny goblet from the lair of a local unnamed dragon. For those of you who don’t have much experience with dragons, here’s a general tip to avoid incurring their fiery wrath: Don’t steal their sh*t. 

The dragon (predictably) flips out after finding his treasure hoard invaded, and sets fire to the countryside. A significantly older Beowulf gathers his men to once more slay a monster for the good of his people, and as usual he asks his soldiers to stay back so that he might further increase his fame and renown (a lifetime of slaying “un-killable” monsters does that to one’s ego). 

This time, however, Beowulf finds himself outmatched by the dragon and desperately defends himself with a rapidly-melting shield, thanks to the dragon’s fire. Seeing their lord in dire need, most of his soldiers heroically retreat to the woods, but one man, Wiglaf, remembers his oaths and rushes to his king’s aid. 

Beowulf has recurring trouble with swords; he is described as simply too strong to use them properly, and his super manly grip breaks the blade uselessly on the dragon’s scaly hide. Luckily, Wiglaf doesn’t have this problem and is able to stab into the beast’s belly, thus bleeding out the fire that had been roasting his lord. This allowed Beowulf get good and close to the dread lizard and stab it in the face (for some reason, his dagger isn’t susceptible to his sword-breaking problem).

The two are victorious, but not without cost: Beowulf’s armour could not withstand the power of the dragon and he lay mortally wounded in Wiglaf’s arms. Beowulf reassures his distressed thane, tells him to have courage in the coming days, and then dies like a champ. He is buried with all the treasures of the dragon’s hoard, and is laid to rest at what scholars suspect is now the barrow of Skalunda. Beowulf is remembered as “most gracious and fair-minded, kindest to his people and keenest to win fame.” Rest in Peace, you magnificent bastard.