By the Gods!

Horus

One of the oldest and most widely worshipped deities in the Egyptian pantheon was Horus. He was worshipped as the god of the sky, and was usually depicted as a falcon, or a falcon-headed fella. He was the son of Isis and Osiris, and was born toward the end of that couple’s grand story. Horus was also said to be a god of war and hunting. 

Horus was told by his mother, Isis, to protect the people of Egypt from Seth (the god of the desert, darkness and chaos, all-around badguy), and to seek vengeance for Seth’s murder of Osiris, Horus’ father. Many of Horus’ exploits involve his many battles and contests with Seth. Besides the whole vengeance angle, it was decided that the eventual winner would be the ruler of Egypt. Seth was worshipped in Upper Egypt, and Horus in Lower Egypt. I’ll spare you the details, and give you a giant spoiler: Horus eventually wins in a boat race, and gains the rule of all Egypt, while Seth goes back to just ruling the deserts.

Horus’ eyes were said to be the sun and moon, what with him being the sky god and all. In a battle with Seth, Horus’ left eye was gouged out, and this was meant to explain why the moon (which the eye represented) was weaker than the sun. In this same (particularly rough) fight, Seth lost a testicle. That’s dirty fighting, Horus. The loss of the desert god’s testicle explained the infertility of the desert. So there you have it: the reason you can’t grow your corn in the Sahara is because a god ripped the sack off another god. The more you know!