By the Gods!

Caligula

We recently talked about Augustus, the first Emperor of Rome, and how he had been placed in the Roman Pantheon of Gods posthumously. He was a fairly amazing gent, after all—what harm could there be in worshipping him as a transcendant spirit akin to those who wrought the world from Chaos? A few emperors down the line, though, came Caligula. This guy took deification to a new, literal (probably quite embarrassing for Romans at the time) level.

When Caligula (whose real name was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, with “Caligula” being a nickname meaning “little soldier’s boot”) ascended to the role of Emperor, things went well at first, and we was beloved among the people throughout the vast empire. As you might imagine, however, all of that love, all those sacrifices in your name, all the knee-bending and praise might eventually go to one’s head. And it did. Oh, did it ever.

Eventually, Caligula’s political payments for support, luxury and extravagance exhausted the Roman treasuries, and there was a wee bit ‘o famine. Despite the proverbial and literal belt-tightening occurring throughout the empire, Caligula went on a construction spree, and didn’t do much to disprove the accusations of his fiscal inadequacy. About this time, he got wound up in a few sex scandals, too, and was said to be extra-perverted, even among the hedonistic Roman upper-class. Now that’s an accomplishment.

Caligula clearly believed that he was the bees knees, and then began making it a state requirement that everyone else think the same. He declared himself a living god. The story goes that, when several kings came to Rome and each argued about the nobility of his own descent, Caligula burst out “Let there be one Lord, one King!” and I have a sneaking suspicion that he was referring to himself. He began to appear in public dressed as Hercules, Mercury, Venus, and Apollo to name a few of his costumes du jour, and began referring to himself in documents and in person as Jupiter. After a few years of this, he told his court that he wished to be worshipped as Neos Helios, meaning “New Sun,” and was represented as the Sun God on Egyptian coins.

Eventually Caligula was assassinated through a plot devised and carried out by his own Praetorian Guard, the elite men trusted with guarding the Emperor at all costs. You know you must’ve screwed something up when the guys blood-sworn to protect you bring the hurtin’.

It’s not like Caligula was the first guy to claim divinity, but he sure went about it in a big way. Dressing up like Venus, the goddess of love, takes cohones no matter when you’re from.